The process

While I don't really write this blog for other people, I recognize that other people do read it. I've heard from a few them with questions about why I'm behind. I don't like the word "behind" because it implies that I'm going to "catch up." I'm not. I'm taking a leave of absence. And here is the honest and open reason why: 

I am having a hard time. I am grieving the loss of my sister. Not only that, but this feeling of grief reopens all the other feelings of grief I have. So I am also grieving the loss of my dad and my brother. On top of that, I'm grieving for my own family that I haven't been blessed to have yet. I'm feeling very alone. 

There are many things that I know. I know I'm not alone. I know family is forever. I know I will have a family of my own, even if it's in the next life. But, right now these things that I know don't help. Instead, I am just angry. I'm upset with Heavenly Father. I can't help but ask myself, "How could this Heavenly Father's plan for anyone?!" And I know the answer. And I know that being angry with Heavenly Father is the very least helpful thing I could right now. I know that. But as much as I know that I am still having a hard time. 

I know that this is part of the process. I know that anger is one of the steps of grief. It's really, really sad to me that I know the grief process so well. I know that it will get better. I know that eventually church and scriptures and conference talks will bring me peace and comfort. But they don't yet. I know that eventually I will be able to reflect at the end of each day and be able to see the blessings in my life that I am thankful for. But I can't yet. Right now when I reflect on my day I count all the things that were really hard, all the dumb things people said, and all the times I cried or wanted to cry. That's not a good thing for me. So I'm taking a leave of absence from my thankful record. I know that's probably not the best idea and I know there are still things to be thankful for. But that's what I'm doing. 

Zucchini noodles

Who knew zucchini noodles were even a thing?! I'm thankful for a delicious lunch with my "administrative professionals." It was delightful and I can't wait to go back and eat at that restaurant again! 

2 minutes of sun

I have a new electronic marquee at work. It's fantastic. Today I had to update the info being displayed on the sign. In order to update it, you have to go out to the sign with a laptop and connect through a wireless connection to update the play program. By the time I had everything ready to update, the weather turned and it started to snow. But the update had to happen today and that was my only chance. I'm thankful for the 2 minutes if sunshine I got while my laptop connected to the sign. The snow let up and the sun came out and I managed to keep the laptop from getting too wet! 

A snowy adventure

Eric and I went for a walk. We decided to skip the neighborhood and head up Adam's canyon. We hiked for maybe an hour and then decided to turn around so we wouldn't be stuck hiking down in the dark. About 2 minutes after we turned around, it started to snow! We were practically running down the mountain. There was lightning crazy close. I was covered in snow! It was quite the adventure. I'm thankful we made it back to the car safely and I'm thankful for the dry hoodie Eric let me borrow to wear home.

Real Salt Lake Suite Tickets

Today I'm thankful that our department at work for to use the Sandy City Real Salt Lake suite tickets. I'm not usually a huge soccer fan, but I do enjoy going to the MLS games here. I even got to meet Leo the Lion! 

Dinner

My awesome brother and sister-in-law invited me over for dinner. I'm thankful for the dinner, it was very delicious. I'm thankful for some time with my family. I haven't gotten enough of that lately. And I'm thankful that Aaron and Jamie (well, Jamie really) thought to invite me! 

A registered car

TodayI'm thankful my car is officially legal for one more year! I'm not thankful for the emissions test I had to pay for and I'm not thankful for the taxes I had to pay. But I'm thankful it's done and taken care of until next year!

Sand bags

There is parks project going on at the park connected to the rec center I work at. As part of the project they leveled a pretty big hill we had in the pool area. It's something we've wanted to do for a while. But it hasn't been great timing. They had to tear down our pool fence and put up a temporary fence. It's been working okay, except today there was a pretty good wind storm. That temporary fence took a beating! It got pushed around and nearly blown away. But I'm thankful for the sand bags that held the fence in place. I'm thankful for the parks guys who came after hours to make sure it was secure. And I'm thankful for my staff, who were very vigilant in making sure it was taken care of! 

Catch

I have find memories if playing catch with my dad and my brothers. I played tball, coach pitch baseball, and softball growing up. I didn't really live playing the actual sport, but I did like playing catch. There's just something about catching a throwing a ball that makes everything else kind of melt away. I'm thankful for the time I got to spend playing catch tonight. I'm need to get a glove of my own so I can play more often! 

This quote

Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come. -Joseph B Wirthlin

I can't even begin to express how much this feels like my life right now. I am definitely experiencing a "Friday" in my life. I really do feel like my world (and my heart) has shattered and is lying in pieces.  But I also know that Sunday will come. I know that it will get better. For now, I will cling to that knowledge and hope for that day. I pray it isn't too far off. 

Dinner and a movie

Today I'm thankful for an evening out with two people I love, but don't get to see as often as I would like. Sometimes being a busy adult is the pits! But when we can make our schedules work, I enjoy spending time with Emily and Deena. We went to dinner (Chick-Fil-A) and a movie (Draft Day). Both were pretty great. And I'm thankful I was out and about instead if being home alone! 

The womens expo

Today Krista ANC I bailed on work early (she technically had the day off for Good Friday, but still worked...so I guess it was just me that bailed on work early). We went down to a womens expo in Provo. There were lots of booths with girly stuff - clothes, jewelry, shoes, etc. It was fun to do something different. I'm thankful I could spend my afternoon doing that instead of working!  

Emergency management

I got to be a part of Sandy City's EOC emergency management exercise. I'm thankful for the opportunity to watch and hear about how the city will respond in the event of some kind of disaster. 

People who try

This life is hard. There are some things in life that just don't comfy as easy as others. I'm thankful for the people who set an example for me by just trying. They just do their best. It would be awesome if we could all put forth our best effort as well as respect the efforts of others. This world and the people in it are entirely too competitive and too critical! 

A hammock

I have a balcony in my bedroom. Everyone in my neighborhood has cute patio furniture out on their balconies. I've been meaning to get something out there for a long time! I currently don't love being home alone. I usually end up crying. One day last week I ended up home alone. I decided to out and buy a chair for my balcony. But I didn't buy one. Instead I got amazon and bought a hammock! It came today, I set it up and enjoyed some time out on my balcony. I'm thankful for the hammock and the future time that will be spent in it! 

Rice

I write all of these posts from my phone. (There's an app for that!) There was no post yesterday because my phone was out of commission. I had it in my back pocket when I went to the bathroom and it fell in the toilet! Gross!! Today I'm thankful for the rice that I left my phone in for 24 hours to dry it out. I'm thankful it worked! I won't be putting my phone in my back pocket again any time soon! 

New roads

Today I'm thankful for new roads - for the opportunity to explore and go a different way. I get stuck doing the same things and going the same way a lot. But today I did some exploring. 

Sun

I live for the sun. I'm still not really sure why I live somewhere where it's winter for 9 months of the year! I'm thankful for a quick get-away to St. George. I'm thankful for an entire day spent in the sun. I'm thankful for a cool pool to get in to beat the heat. But mostly I'm just thankful for the heat! I'm excited to say good-bye to winter!

Safety week

Every year our department has a safety week. Every day for a week we put together a short safety training for everyone to attend. I'm thankful for the reminders we receive during the week. I really, really want everyone in our department to be safe and healthy and happy. I'm thankful for one week every year to refocus and make sure we're doing the things we need to!

Sealings

Today I'm thankful I got to witness temple sealings. Krista's brother Steve was sealed to his wife of nine year and their 3 beautiful children. Brooke was baptized just over a year ago and it has been such a blessing for to be able to see the change in them as a family. The gospel has an incredible effect on people. I'm thankful for temple ordinances. I'm thankful Steve and Brooke let me be a part of their day! 

Being able to help

I helped a fellow Sandy city employee jump her car today. She was SUPER impressed that I knew how to jump start a car. She was even more impressed when she found out I could also change a tire. I'm thankful for the knowledge and experience I have that allowed me to be able to help someone today. 

Music in my car

My brother Jared is tech-savy. He put an iPod connector in my car so I can play anything I want (as long as it's on my iPod). Something happened a few weeks ago and the connector stopped working. It hasn't been awesome. Today I'm thankful for Jared and his ability to fix it! It killed 2 birds with one stone. Jared fixed the music and I cleaned out my car. I'd call it a success. 

My teacher

My teacher tonight was incredible. She made me stay after class, told me I didn't have to come for the last 2 class sessions and told me I can take as long as I need to to turn in my final project...even if it's after the semester is over. And then she told me her home is always open if I need somewhere to go. I'm thankful for her, for her support and for her empathy. She didn't "bless my heart" or say "my thoughts and prayers are with you." She said, "I think about you multiple times a day and my heart is broken for you." And she meant it. She wasn't saying those things because there's nothing else to say. I'm thankful for that. I can only hope my Thursday teacher will be equally as incredible. 

A gluten free stash

My mom spent last week at my brother's house. When she got here, my brother and I went to the store and stocked up on some gluten free stuff (muffins, pretzels, bread, etc.). Most of it didn't get eaten. Now my mom's back in St. George, so I volunteered to take all the left-overs off my brother's hands. I'm thankful for that stash because I also spent most of last week at Aaron's house, which means my cupboards and my fridge are very empty!! Now at least I have stuff to get me through until I can get to the store. 

Filed taxes

I usually file my taxes as soon as I get my W-2 from work. But this year I procrastinated. Today I'm thankful to have them filed...with 9 days to spare. And I'm very thankful to be getting a tax return. 

The end of this day

I don't know the last time I was this thankful that a day was over. Today we had my sister's funeral. It was hard. Really hard. I cried. A lot. And as thankful as I am that this day is over, I dread the days and weeks and months ahead. I've done this before. I know that now the hard part starts. Now I have to figure out how to do real life. Now all my family goes back their real life. Now we have to create a whole new "normal." One without Sharon. And that doesn't happen quickly and it doesn't happen easily. 

Our bodies

Today I'm thankful for the knowledge that our bodies are just a shell. Our spirits are what really bring us to life. We are not bodies with a spirit, we're spirits with a body. Today I saw my sister's body. Even while she was alive her body was sick and sad, but her spirit made up for it. And now that her spirit is not there, her body just looks sick and sad. It was hard to see. But I'm thankful that her spirit lives on, no longer restrained by her sick and sad body. 

Gluten free coconut pancakes

I went out to breakfast today. I ate gluten free coconut pancakes and they were yummy. The rest of the day was just hard, but I'm thankful for the pancakes. 

Family memory time

My mom asked me to speak at my soster's funeral. That might be ranked on the list of top 10 things I would really love to NOT do. Ever. But she's my mom and although I tried, she would not accept no for an answer. I will be doing a little bit of a "life sketch." I'm terrified and I have no idea what I'm going to say. But, today I'm thankful we could get together as a family and talk about Sharon for a little while. I'm thankful I could write some things down. I hope I will be able to compile those thoughts into a talk that Sharon would approve of having at her funeral. 

A cemetery plot

My brother passed away when I was 5. At that time my parents bought a plot in the Kaysville cemetery for him and 2 more for the two of them (my parents). Today we had to go buy a plot for my sister. The area of the cemetery where Wesley and my dad are buried is old and very full. We were not expecting to get Sharon in the same area, just as close as we could. We looked at the map they had on the wall and all the plots close by were taken. The lady looked some things up and then told us the most incredible news! The plot RIGHT NEXT to my brother and my dad was available. Sharon will be buried right next to Wesley. We really are being looked out for, even during this incredibly hard time! 

The United States Air Force

Today I'm so thankful for the Air Force. My brother is deployed in Korea. He is just about as far away from us that he can possibly be. I had to tell him about Sharon on the phone. It was awful. But, thankfully, the Air Force immediately started making arrangement to get Chris home. We need him here. He needs to be here. And I'm thankful that this afternoon he will be here!!

Tender mercies

Tender mercies are everywhere. Sometimes, especially during hard times, they're a little easier to see. Maybe its because there are countless people praying for our family. Maybe its because the veil is a little thinner at times like this. I don't really know. Today I'm thankful for one tender mercy in particular. I'm thankful that Alex was not at home with Sharon when she passed away. I'm so thankful she was with Jared. 

Eternal families

Today my heart is broken. My sister passed away. It still hasn't sunk in and I still have processed what that really means. But today I am thankful that my family is eternal. 

Hail

Today I'm thankful for the hail and the sweet memory that came to me as I drove through it. My dad was a great man. I never heard him swear. He just didn't do it. He was very selective about his words. But anytime it started it hail, he would yell from his office (or wherever he happened to be), "Well, HAIL!!" And still to this day when it starts to hail, I can hear his voice saying that! I'm thankful for sweet reminders like that. 

A short board meeting

I have to conduct a board meeting every month for work. They're usually about 2 hours long. It makes for a very long day! Today I'm thankful for a board meeting that was only an hour! I was ready to go home before it even started. I'm thankful I made it home by the time the meeting is usually ending! 

Life long friends

Today I'm thankful for the handful of friends that will be my friends forever. I chatted with one of them today. I haven't talked to her in a few years. Our lives just went different directions. But today we chatted. And it was great! 

The bus

Today, we finally got our new bus at work! I'm so excited for that bus! It's been an awfully long time coming! I'm thankful for what that new bus is doing for the moral of some of my fantastic employees. I'm thankful for the new possibilities and offerings we can explore with that bus. I'm thankful (after months of talking about it) that the new bus is finally in our possession! 

Batteries

Who knew that thermostats were powered by batteries? The thing is attached to my wall, I really thought it would have some kind of power supply. Nope. Batteries. And mine died. A few days ago. That means my heater hasn't kicked on in a few days. Luckily it hasn't been very cold lately. I'm thankful my brothers had some batteries I could steal. I'm thankful my heater is currently running! When I got it all plugged back in, it said it was 64 in my house. I like my house cold, but not that cold!! 

Becky

Today I'm thankful for Becky. Becky is one of my awesome physical therapists. She invited me to go with her my other physical therapist Trish to dinner tonight. I don't think most people are blessed with physical therapists that also get to consider friends. I'm so thankful for everything they do for me. Not only do they help me heal physically, but they make me laugh. They ask about my life. They listen me ramble about work and school and boys. They're good at their job and they're good people! My insurance company is only going to pay for one more visit for my hip. I told Becky and Trish tonight that we need to plan some kind of regular get-together so I don't have to be injured again before I see them again! 

Homework time

Today I'm thankful for some extra time to get some homework done. I have a pretty big project due tomorrow and today my teacher basically told me the draft I turned in was crap. It was true. The draft was half-hearted. I left class crying - not because of what my teacher said, but because I was completely overwhelmed with the thought of revisiting the project. But I (thankfully) had quite a but of time tonight to put some real effort into it. I'm thankful for a couple good friends on Facebook who were willing to read through and edit the paper for me. I will be SO thankful next Friday when this class is over!! 

Brown hair dye

I dyed my hair today. Well, I had someone dye my hair today. It did not turn out well. I've been wanting to get a rich red color for a while. Tonight was the last time I will try. Tonight my hair turned red. Fire engine red. The color red. Not red hair red. Red. It was bad. The only fix was to dye it again - brown this time. Now my hair is purply brown. Very dark purply brown. It's not my color. But, I'm thankful for the brown dye that made it at least a little better than fire engine red. I hope we can do something soon to lighten it up. A whole bunch. 

A hearing test

I got my hearing checked today to make sure my BAHA is working the way it should be. I'm thankful that it really is working the way it should be! That thing is such a blessing in my life, I can't help but be thankful for it. 

Interviews

Today I'm thankful for the comfort of knowing that I don't have be interviewed for a job any time soon! I was part of an interview board today. As much as I don't love conducting interviews, I'm so thankful to be on the interviewer side of the table! 

Creamies

Today I'm thankful for a freezer of left-over creamies. I was in charge of bringing snacks to my class tonight. Unfortunately I didn't have time to plan ahead - that's what happens when you don't remember until Sunday and class is on Monday! I planned on stopping at the grocery store real quick on my way to school, but then I remembered all the left-over creamies we have from the half marathon last summer. I'm thankful I didn't have to stress about making it to the store. And I'm thankful they were such a hit with my class. 

Sunday dinner

Today I'm thankful for the wonderful Sunday dinner I got to have with Aaron and Jamie. I hung out with them yesterday. They fed me dinner last night and then invited me to dinner tonight. I'm so thankful for them. I hope they don't get too sick of me because I really like to hang out with them! 

Salsa

I rediscovered my love for chips and salsa today. I tried so hard, but I could NOT stop snacking on chips and salsa. I'm thankful for the salsa we have from canning last year  I'm thankful that my brothers let me spend the afternoon and evening with them. I know getting out of the house was the only thing that kept me from finishing off the bag of chips (that I opened this morning)!

American authors

Today I'm thankful for American Authors - the band, not literally authors who are American. I bought their CD a few weeks ago and I've been listening to it nonstop! It's such a peppy, fun CD. I'm thankful to have some good music to look forward to in the car. I'm really sick of everything on the radio right now! 

A hole in the wall

There are some really awesome things happening at our rec center. I am so proud of my employees and the incredible job they're doing. And I am so thankful to be able to push a project through that they have been waiting years for! We are converting some if our men's locker room into a classroom. That room will serve so many purposes and everyone is so excited about it! Today we cut a hole in the brick wall. It was loud and dirty and I loved it! I'm thankful for that progress! 

Attitudes

Today I'm thankful for attitudes and the fact that they can change! I'm having a bad attitude right now. I'm going to bed early and hoping I can change it by tomorrow! 

The URPA conference

Today I'm thankful for the opportunity to come down to St. George for the URPA conference. It's been great to hear some new ideas, meet some new people and reconnect with some old people. I'm so thankful for my job and the experiences I have with Sandy City. I really feel extremely blessed to be where I am in my career. I'm thankful for all the steps that lead me to where I am and I'm excited to see where the future leads. 

Lunch with the guys

I'm at a conference for work. When we had a break for lunch, I took off. It's a little tougher to find gluten options, but since we're in St. George I knew my options. I got about 5 minutes away from the convention center when my boss called. He and the other 2 parks guys who are also here wanted to go to lunch with me! I'm thankful for that time and that lunch. I really do work with great people!! 

Carrier fun

Today I am thankful that the Carrier crew let me come hang out with them in Zion National Park. We did a couple hikes, drove out to Hurricane for lunch, played a few games, played ping pong, swung on swings, attempted tennis, and a new game David made up called tennis baseball. I laughed until I cried and nearly peed my pants. And I got some sun. It was one of those days filled with so much fun that you can't help but smile when you climb into bed, completely exhausted!! 

My moms new house

Today I'm thankful for my mom's new house. She moved after Christmas and this weekend was my first time seeing it. I'm thankful to finally see so many things that feel like "home." I'm thankful my mom has found a place of her own. 

A completed observation

I have to evaluate a youth program for one of my classes. You would think it would be a piece of cake since The program I'm evaluating runs every day at my center...but it has definitely NOT been a piece if cake! I was supposed to have 2 observations and a director interview done yesterday and I didn't have any done! Today I am so thankful for one completed observation. I'm thankful for the opportunity to connect with one of my employees a little more and learn more about the program she and another team member run. I was very impressed. Hopefully I can get caught up on all the other requirements for that class during spring break next week. (Spring break is overrated when you still have to work!)

BS

I had to "teach" my class today. But, it's been a crazy week and I'm kind of in survival mode. So my 1.5 hour lesson was literally 1.5 hours of me BSing my way through it. It was fabulous. I'm thankful for the knowledge, skills, and experience I have in teaching that allowed me to at least survive the class! 

The Sandy Tourism Committee

Today I'm thankful for the Sandy Tourism Committee. I get to be a part of their meetings every once in a while. It was in that committee that the idea for the half marathon I'm in charge of took hold. I'm thankful for the opportunity to run shoulders with such great people. 

My car

I had take my car into the shop today. It was rough. $400 later, I now have new rear brakes, new brake fluid, new transmission fluid, new oil, and rotated tires. I hate spending money like that! I know it's important to keep up on the maintenance of cars so they'll last a long time, but man alive!! $400!!! And even though that was a lot of money, I'm thankful I have a good car. I'm thankful that runs so well and has been so dependable! And I'm thankful the maintenance is now current so I don't have to worry about it for a while!! 

The end of this day

Today was rough. I had to make a very hard, necessary decision at work that will result in some hard times. I hated every minute of it and I still feel pretty awful. But, it needed to happen. I'm thankful that Eric showed up at my house. (He was actually there when I got home). I'm thankful for the laughs and distraction he provided. I'm thankful for a good end to a complete bummer of a day! 

Piano music

Today I'm thankful for the music that was present in my home growing up. My mom is an incredible piano player. She has a gift and I'm thankful I got to benefit from that gift. I'm thankful for the peace and calm that her playing brought to our house and the peace and calm I still feel when I hear piano music. I haven't heard my mom just play the piano for years. I'm so excited for the day she will be reunited with her piano. I'm excited to find somewhere in her new house to lay down and just listen. 

The Relief Society lesson

I get to teach the lesson in Relief Society tomorrow. I'm thankful for the opportunity. Just like most teaching opportunities, I feel like preparing for this lesson is something I needed. I hope at least a few of the girls in our Relief Society will benefit too. I know our Father in Heaven has a plan for each of us. Nothing that happens in our life ever comes as a shock or a surprise to Him. I'm thankful to have had that reminder every day for the past few days. 

The Maverick Center Parking Guy

I went to my very first Grizzlies game tonight with Eric. We were late. We pulled into the Maverick Center parking lot (totally boxed in with a line of cars behind us) and THEN saw the sign - Parking $6. Eric had no cash. I had $2 and managed to scrounge up $1.50 in change. When I got up to the parking guy, I told him our situation. He said he would take our $3.50 and give us a discount. Then he told us to enjoy the game and our night. I'm thankful for his mercy. I'm sure he could have made us turn around (although I'm not quite sure how...), but I'm thankful he took what we had and let us in! 

The Sandy employee bowling tournament

It happens every year and I'm pretty I've been thankful for it every year. This year is no different. I'm thankful for the opportunity to see the people I work with in a different environment. In thankful for the fun and the laughs and the comradery we get to experience together. I really am thankful for my job and the people I work with! 

Rosie

Today I'm thankful for the long-time Sandy City Fire Chief, Don Rosenkrantz. Today Rosie retired and the fire department threw him one heck of a party. I'm thankful for all the help and support Rosie and his team have given us through the years. I know he will definitely be missed, but we're happy for him and his retirement. 

60 degrees in February

Today I'm thankful for the little taste of spring we are currently experiencing. I could get used to 60 degrees! Unfortunately I know it won't last. But that won't stop my from enjoying it while I can. I'm so glad spring is at least on the way! 

A song

I was SO tired driving to work this morning. When I tired driving to work, I usually end up dreading the day more and more!! But today, while I was driving and tired, a song came on. The chorus of the song repeats the words, "This is gonna be the best day of my life." Today I am so thankful for that song. It was peppy enough to wake me up and the words were good enough to stop the dread from taking over! 

Examples

I'm thankful to have so many great examples in my life. I'm surrounded by people who constantly teach me new things - just by the way they live their lives. 

Meals with friends

Today I'm thankful for 3 meals I shared with friends. We had a visiting teaching breakfast at my house this morning. We had 10 girls from our Relief Society over. Krista and I went to lunch with an old friend. And tonight we went to the Jazz game and out to dinner with some other friends. I'm thankful to have spent my Saturday with great people! 

One mile

I ran a mile today. I'm so thankful for that mile. It was in the anti-gravity treadmill and it was only 50% of my body weight, but it was awesome. I'm thankful to finally be at this point in my recovery. I finally feel like I'm on my way to being back to 100%! 

The whites of my eyes

I'm so thankful for the whites if my eyes...and especially that they're starting look white again. I woke up on Tuesday with pink eye (compliments of an awesome sinus infection). Luckily for me it was all bacterial and the antibiotics are doing the trick. I'm thankful to be feeling like I'm finally on the mend. Being sick is the worst!! 

The garage door

This morning I turned my alarm off. And then I went back to sleep! I'm so thankful my garage door opened and it was loud enough to wake me up! I could have been in big trouble if I didn't! I'm thankful Krista went to the gym early so she would be opening the garage at that time. 

My typically good health

I'm sick. It's been almost 10 days. Today I finally broke down and went to the doctor. Sinus infection. Pink eye. And I had to stand on the scale after almost 3 months of not working out (and not making the best food choices). I'm feeling pretty crappy. Plus, I spent a lot of time with Eric yesterday so I'm full of dread that he'll end up just as sick as I am. I hate it all! But, being sick gives me an opportunity to really be thankful my usually good health. I'm thankful for antibiotics and cough syrup. I hope those things will get me back to my usually good health so I can hopefully get back to exercising in the next few weeks! 

The Olympics

I haven't watched too much of the Olympics this year. But today I had a really lazy day. I spent the first half if the day watching with Krista and then I spent the second half of the day watching with Eric. I'm thankful for the Olympics and their ability to bring the world together. I'm thankful I have them recorded on my TV so I don't have to watch the events I think are boring! 

Gratitude

Is that silly - to be thankful for the thankfulness that other people show? I think it's a dying concept. Too many people are "entitled" and negative. They seem to forget all the good things they have to be thankful for. Even when things are terrible, there is always something to be thankful for. I'm thankful for the people in my life who not only remember that themselves, but also inspire me to be mindful and thankful. 

Fingernail clippers

I have the worlds biggest aversion to nail files. I cannot handle having my nails filed. It makes me cringe, it makes my hands all sweaty, I just can't handle it. I also can't handle having my nails long. So I'm thankful for fingernail clippers. I'm thankful I can keep my nails short without ever having to file them. 

Timing

I'm sick. I've been fighting it since Monday. Every day has been just a tiny bit worse than the day before. Today I coughed all day. Hard. I stayed home tonight and I'm headed to bed before 9:00pm. And yet, I'm thankful for the timing of this sickness. I prayed so hard that I would be able to make it through my surgery recovery without getting sick. And I did! Even with both of my roommates getting the flu. Even with EVERYONE I work with getting sick! I held out. I'm thankful my body was able to fight it all off until now. I'm thankful I have a 3-day weekend ahead of me with no plans. I'm thankful I can just rest and hopefully be back to 100% before Tuesday. I'm also thankful I had some cough medicine here so I didn't have to go to the store tonight. I really hope it works well so I can sleep!! 

Lunch with Amelia

I got my (soon to be former) co-worker addicted to Eleanor's Bakeshop, a gluten free bakery in Sandy. They make the most delicious gluten free sandwiches. But, the sandwiches are kind of small. One is never enough. So Amelia and I would order three and split the third. It was a fantastic arrangement. I'm thankful for the many times we got to go to lunch. Today was the last time. Amelia is moving to Arizona. I might need a new lunch buddy!  

Valentines Day flowers

I'm really experienced at being a Valentine. I've been a Valentine for 28 years! But I've never HAD a Valentine on Valentine's Day. Today I'm thankful for the flowers that a pretty incredible guy gave me...even if they're early...and even if I have NO idea what I'm going to get him! Guess I better figure it out. 

10 hours of sleep

I'm getting sick. I'm trying do hard to fight it, but I'm not sure it's working. I'm thankful for the 10 hours of sleep I got last night. I went to bed early and fell asleep before I could set my alarm. It's kind of a miracle I made it to work by 8:00! I really hope this blasted sore throat doesn't turn into anything worse!! 

Endurance

Today I'm thankful for the ability my body has to endure. I don't feel good today. I woke up with a sore throat and my head started throbbing as soon as I got out of bed. (That should've been my clue to get back in bed, but I didn't). I decided to go to work. Usually when I get a cold, I end up feeling better if I get up and go about my regular day. Not today. I felt pretty crummy all day. But I drained a lot of my sick time when I had surgery. Twice. So I stuck it out. I kept my door closed so I wouldn't share my germs. And I made it. At least through work, I didn't go to school. I'm thankful my body has successfully fought off all the other bugs I've encountered this winter! And I hope a good nights sleep kicks this bug's behind. I don't have time to be sick!! 

Ward conference

I'm thankful for ward conference today. I'm thankful for the opportunity to sustain my leaders and hear the messages done had prepared for us. I'm thankful for the organization of the church and my membership in it. 

Rainy afternoons

It's pretty obvious that I am not a winter kid. I don't like the snow or the cold or the inversion or the short days or the dark. Today I'm thankful for a little taste of spring. Instead of snowing, today it rained. Since I didn't get much sleep last night at the campout, I was pretty tired when I got home. I snuggled up on my couch with my favorite blanket and fell asleep to the sound of the rain outside. It was pretty magical. I'm thankful for the seasons and that each one has it's time. I know winter is far from over, but just know that spring is coming brings me some comfort. 

Pit

I played a new game tonight at our ward winter campout. It's called pit. I'm thankful for the opportunity to try something new. I'm thankful for the people I got to know a little better while we played. I'm thankful for the good times and the crazy amount of laughter. 

The University of Utah student section

I haven't done a very good job of taking advantage of all the perks of being a student.  But tonight I did go to the U of U Mens Basketball game. I got in for free and so did my guest. I'm thankful for a fun, free outing! I'm thankful we got to sit in the student section. It was loud and obnoxious and really fun! 

Extra physical therapy

Today was a long day. After many hours of budgets and meetings and fighting fires (not literally) at work, I had to go straight to physical therapy. I love physical therapy! Well...at least I love the people there. By the time I got there today I was tired and had a big headache (undoubtedly from staring at numbers on a computer all day)! My rockstar physical therapist said, "let's do some work on your neck and see if we can help your headache." Yes, please!! I'm so thankful so was willing to do that. I'm thankful it really did help my headache! 

Breakthroughs

I am thankful for tender mercies! They are all around, we just have to look for them! Today I'm thankful for quite a few tender mercies that came in the form of breakthroughs. I had three very important, very good conversations at work. These conversations are at least a step in the right directions on an issue I have been massively struggling with for a few weeks. It never ceases to amaze me how our Heavenly Father is aware of us and what we need. Today I really needed those breakthroughs. 

A free Monday night

I've had a Monday night class since September! I have the occasional Monday off for holidays and such, but tonight my class was canceled. I'm thankful for some extra time off. It's been a crazy couple days and I'm thankful I got to spend some quiet time at home instead of being at school late tonight. 

Humor

Today was a rough day. It was hard to find things to be thankful for. But I reviewed the day, I decided I'm thankful for humor - even if I happened to find humor in unfortunate circumstances today. Sometimes that's the only way to deal with unfortunate things - find the humor and plow through. I'm thankful for the snippets if laughter today. 

Ted Talks

I don't know how I lived almost 30 years without being introduced to Ted Talks! This semester I've had to watch a few for homework. They're always so intriguing and inspiring. I need to do a little bit more research on Ted Talks in general (find out where they're recording, what the requirements are to give one, etc.). And I need to figure out how to find more that interest me. I'm always thankful for a little bit of inspiration. 

A work computer

My work computer went down yesterday. It was still broken when I got in to work today. It made my day a little tough. Too much of my job requires my computer! But, it helped me be thankful for it. Most of the time it works just fine. I'm thankful for the IT guys who have fix all the computer issues in the city. I think their job would be tough! 

The birthday of my family

Today I'm thankful for the temple sealing that marked the birth of my eternal family 43 years ago! I'm thankful my parents found each other and were married in the temple! There's no way they could have known 43 years ago how much their eternal wedding would mean to me! I sure love my mom and dad! 

A heart to heart with my boss

There's been a few situations at work lately that have really been weighing me down. Today I finally decided to chat with my boss and lay it all out on the table. I'm thankful for the way he received the info I shared. And I'm so thankful for the feeling of relief that came when the weight of that info was lifted! 

A new door knob

My front door knob broke. It was stuck in the lock position. I could NOT get it to unlock. Neither could Krista. Bealynn was a pro at it, but she was the only one! So tonight I took off the door knob and replaced it. I'm thankful for the help I had. I probably would have been too chicken to try without some back up. I'm thankful it wasn't a huge or expensive fix. And now I know how to change a door knob. 

5 weeks

It's been almost 5 weeks since I had surgery on hip. I'm really struggling with the recovery. The pain is 100% manageable  I can get around just fine. But I'm still really restricted on what I can do as far as physical activity. It's a hard position for me to be in and I'm finding myself discouraged more often than not. So today I'm shifting my perspective a little bit. I'm thankful that I'm almost 5 weeks into recovery. I'm thankful that I don't have to do those 5 weeks over again and I'm thankful to be 5 weeks closer to where I want to be. One of my teachers is scheduled for surgery on Thursday. I'm thankful I'm not in her position! I'm thankful I'm well on my way to being 100%! 

The RS Presidency

I am so thankful for my calling!! I'm thankful for the amazing girls I get to serve with and the amazing girls we get to serve. We went as a presidency to deliver some lotions we've been trying to get out to all the girls in our Relief Society since Christmas. It was great. I'm thankful for the opportunity I have to serve in a calling I enjoy. 

Coach Wallace

I went to the temple today with some friends. While we were waiting in the chapel, I noticed a temple worker that looked really familiar. It took me a minute, but it finally clicked - he was my soccer coach from4th grade!! I waited until he was free and I went to chat with him. I'm thankful I ran in to him. I'm thankful for his willingness to be a coach then, and now for his willingness to serve in the temple! (I found it strangely appropriate that even 20 years later, in the temple, he was holding a clipboard and telling people where to go!) 

Mentors

I am so thankful to many people in my life that I have considered or currently consider to be my mentors. Today I'm thankful for Todd, who has been a great help to me at work. Today he took time out of his busy day to come up to my office and chat with me about an issue I'm having at work. I'm thankful he was SO willing to come up, even though I didn't tell him what I needed. I'm thankful he listened while I talked it. I'm thankful for his suggestions and encouragement. And I'm thankful that before he left he said, "We'll figure it out." He didn't wish me luck or even say he would help me figure it out. He said we would figure it out together! I hope someday I can be a mentor to someone like Todd is a mentor to me. 

Healthy debate

There's a difference between a healthy debate and an argument. I'm thankful healthy debate. I'm thankful for the change in perspective that usually results. I'm thankful for the intellectual challenge it provides. I had a healthy debate with my teacher at school today. It was actually kind of fun. I'm thankful for him, for hearing me out, for answering my questions, and for asking me tough questions in return. 

The Inversion

Today I am thankful for the inversion.  That’s kind of a big deal for me because usually I really, really, really, REALLY hate the inversion.  But today while I was driving to work, I had a pretty sweet learning experience. 

The view of the inversion from Little Cottonwood Canyon.

The inversion is a like a big blanket that covers the valley I live in. It settles in during the winter, and it seems to drag on forever!  Between storms, warm air fronts trap the the cold air (and all the pollution) in the valley. It makes everything hazy.  It hides the blue sky and makes the sun seem so far away.  It makes me feel like there’s a dark cloud over my heart.  The only thing that clears the inversion is a storm.  The snow and wind break up the inversion.  The snow isn’t my favorite either – it’s cold and wet and miserable!  But, when the storm is over, everything becomes clear!  The blue skies come into full view, the sun shines bright and intense, and the dark cloud over my heart goes away almost instantly!   

Today I thought about the inversion and related it to the veil.  The other side of the veil is just as real and just as close as the sky is blue - we just can't see it!  But there are times in our lives, usually after trials, when that veil seems to thin out and we catch glimpses of the other side.  When we endure our trials, Heavenly Father has a chance to clear the haze and shine even brighter in our lives.   

I’m so thankful for the gospel and the application it has in my everyday life.  I’m thankful for a Father in Heaven who was willing to teach me.  I’m especially thankful for what I was taught today and the opportunity I had to think about the inversion a little differently.  Maybe it will help me to hate it a little less. 

New scriptures

Sometimes when I need a little extra boost to do something, I have to buy something new and exciting to give myself a kick-start. It works with working out - new running shoes or a cute work-out outfit usually get my butt in gear for at least a few weeks. But since my working out days are on hold these days, I decided I need a different kick-start. I've been a huge slacker at reading my scriptures in preparations for gospel doctrine lessons. In fact, I haven't even been to gospel doctrine in at least 2 months (granted - I've been out of town, recovering from surgery, taking care of Relief Society stuff, etc.)! But I want to change that. I've been thinking about getting new scriptures for quite a while. I decided that could be the kick-start I need to get the ball rolling. I'm thankful for the "clean slate." I'm thankful for the opportunity I have to read the words of the gospel like I'm reading them for the first time. I'm still not quite sure I'm thankful for the Old Testament...but hopefully I'll get there! 

Clean rooms

My house has been a disaster for a while now! I finally put Christmas away over the weekend and today I deep cleaned all the living areas of my house. I scrubbed floors and put lots of junk away. I even sealed the granite countertops. I'm thankful for the order and peace that comes with a clean house. I love it so much - you would think I would do a better job of keeping it that way!!

Thirty years

My best friend turned 30 today. She's been alive for 30 years. I'm thankful for those 30 years because they've all added up to make her the person she is today. 

A cleaner house

My house has been a little bit of a disaster lately. Today I'm thankful we could make some progress getting it back into shape. The biggest accomplishment of the day was getting all the Christmas decorations out away! There's still quite of cleaning that needs to happen, but hopefully we'll get to all (or at least most) of it!!

Engaging conversation

Today I'm thankful for the multiple opportunities I had to participate in engaging conversations. I love learning and recognizing new concepts. I'm thankful to have people in my life - both professionally and personally who can make me really think and help me consider new things. 

A Bluetooth connector

My new hearing aid now functions as a Bluetooth headset for my phone! It's the craziest thing EVER! I'm so thankful for all this new technology that I get to take advantage of every day! 

Trish

Trish is my physical therapist and I am so thankful for her! I love her (and everyone else at Mountainland Physical Therapy in Kaysville) so much - even enough to drive all the way up to kaysville to do therapy with them! I'm thankful for the environment there. I really feel like I'm just going to visit a big group of friends when I go there!

Aaron's theater

I'm thankful my brother has a sweet theater in his basement. I had plans to have a movie date-night tonight, but when I got home I found my roommate downstairs and she had just started a movie herself. I'm thankful Aaron was willing to let me and my date use his theater as a back-up plan! 

A bosu ball

Sometimes (like when you're recovering from hip surgery) it's very convenient to work at a rec center. I'm thankful I can take little breaks during my work day to jump on a stationary bike and loosen my hip up. And I'm even more thankful for the bosu ball I stole from the aerobics room and currently have hidden under my desk! The hardest thing for me right now is sitting. It hurts to sit with my hip at a 90 angle. So, about 50% of the time I spend at my desk, I spend kneeling on a bosu ball instead of sitting in my chair. I'm pretty sure it's the only way I made it through 8 hours of work today! 

Sunday naps

I have missed Sunday naps for the past 2 years. When you have church from 1:00-4:00, Sunday naps are not an option if you want to also sleep on Sunday night! I'm thankful the other wards in our building finally let us into the rotation schedule! I'm thankful for the 11:00 time slot! I still get to sleep in a little bit and we're home early enough to take a short nap after church. 

Critical thinking

I had a pretty significant reading assignment I had to complete for a class on Monday. It was all about critical thinking - what critical thinking is, pros and cons, why people think the way they do, etc. I'm thankful the reading was interesting. And I'm thankful for the abilities I have in critical thinking. One of the things I read said that critical thinking skills can be taught. When I read that, I automatically thought about all the efforts my dad made to teach me critical thinking skills. He made me read articles, watch videos, and taught me personally. I'm thankful for his efforts. I was not the most receptive, but I'm thankful he pushed it anyway. Obviously I learned a great from him! 

Morning productivity

I've been in a funk lately. There's a handful of things I've been "meaning to do" for a few days now, but just haven't gotten around to. I planned to go to work at 10:30 and set my alarm for 9:15. But I was wide awake at 8:00. I decided to just get up and get the day going. I'm thankful for all the things I was able to accomplish this morning before I had to go to work. I'm thankful I can finally check a few things off my list! 

Not having to drive

Right now driving is the worst! It just hurts. But, I was going to have to suck it up and drive down to Salt Lake today. Months ago I bought season tickets to a local theater with some friends. The first show was tonight. All my friends were already going to be Salt Lake before the show. I'm still "taking it easy" at home. I'm thankful that those plans changed. Krista ended up being close to home with an extra hour to kill so she came home to take a nap. That meant I was able to get a ride with her back to Salt Lake for the show. I'm thankful that I could lay the passenger seat back while we drove. Sitting through a 2.5 hour hour play was not pleasant, but it would have been worse if I had to drive home afterward!! 

Working from home

I went back to work for half days on Monday and Tuesday. They were rough and painful, but I definitely feel like I need to be back at work and catching up. Today (Wednesday) I saw my doctor. I told him about the past couple weeks, including my return to work and the subsequent pain I've been experiencing. He was super happy and told me I need to back off. So I went home instead of going back to work. BUT, I got the okay from my boss to work on a few projects from home. I'm thankful for the opportunity I have to contribute at work while still "taking it easy" to let my body heal. I'm still very tired of my house, but I know I'm making progress and I'm thankful for that! 

Presidency meetings

I'm in the Relief Society presidency for church. I love it. I love the other girls in the presidency. I'm thankful that I love it. I'm thankful that we waste at least an hour chit chatting about our lives before we actually start the meeting. I'm thankful for the laughs and support and love we get to share!! 

Handicap parking

When I checked out of the hospital after surgery, the "hip coordinator" (that's her real title) gave me a folder of information. One of the things she gave me was an application for a temporary handicap parking pass. I thought to myself, "I don't need that!" But today I changed my mind. I went to work for 4 hours and by the time I got home, I was in a lot of pain! The thought of walking from the free parking lot at school to the building my class is in made me want to cry. I decided to take a leap and get the handicap pass, which also allowed me to get a handicap parking pass at school. I can literally park at the door of the building my classes are in! I'm SO thankful my doctor thought ahead to give me that application. And I'm thankful for the change in my mindset that allowed me actually go get it! Hopefully I won't need it for long! 

Corn chex

I went to church today. Sitting through 3 hours of church is not recommended when you're only 10 days post hip surgery. But I wanted to go! I decided to listen to sacrament meeting from the foyer so I could stretch out on the couch a little bit. It made sitting a tiny bit more bearable. My ward is awesome. They accommodate the 3 of us with gluten intolerances by putting a tiny cup of chex on the sacrament tray. As long as we sit in the middle section of the chapel, they make sure it comes to us. Today, by means of a tender mercy from my Heavenly Father, the tray that came out to the foyer was the tray with the cup of chex. I know some people would chalk that up to a coincidence. But I don't. I'm thankful for tender mercies! 

Family time

I spent six hours at my brothers today. I just stopped by to drop something off, but I ended up staying. I took a nap on their couch. I chatted with Aaron and Jamie. We watched some Modern Family and Aaron went out and got us dinner. It wasn't anything crazy exciting, but I'm thankful they let me stay. I'm thankful I could get out of my house and drive and see something besides my bedroom and my iPad! 

Mike & Ikes

I have been craving Mike & Ike's for weeks now! Today I finally got them. I'm thankful for the convenience of having store so close to me every day! 

Outside

I left the house today! It was only for physical therapy, but still. I'm thankful I could get out of the house! It was short lived, I spent most of the rest of the day back in bed. My hip is feeling great, but the rest of my body is feeling pretty crummy. I really hope I'm not coming down with something! 

A chat with Aaron

My brothers are helping my mom move into her new house. I would love to be there helping, but I'm stuck at home on bed rest, healing from hip surgery. I texted Aaron to see how things were going and he ended up calling me. We chatted and joked and laughed for a little while. I'm thankful for him and his sense of humor. I'm thankful for a little but of fun and distraction. I'm SO tired of being in my bed!!